I'm a Mommy!

Its official. I’m a Mommy! I could probably write an entire book about what has happened this past week, but I really don’t want to hash out all of those details right now when they are still raw. But I wanted to at least put up the super condensed version of events since I’ve been THE WORST with calling people to keep them updated. I want to say right away that I wasn’t trying to KEEP the news from anyone, but you think you’ve been overlooked, I hope you will understand after this update.

Around New Years Eve, I swelled up drastically and got a splitting blinding headache. Those are 2 big warning signals for Preeclampsia, a blood pressure condition in pregnant ladies. That kicked off trip to Labor and Delivery over that weekend, an OB appointment on Monday, and a 24 hour urine test (I got to carry around a jug of pee for 24 hours and keep adding to it… yeah awesome). Tuesday afternoon, I get a call from my OB telling me to pack my bag, and get my butt to the hospital. She said my test results were through the roof, proving severe Preeclampsia, so he needs to induce me ASAP before I have issues like seizures, or liver or kidney failure. I’m told that in laments terms, my body can no longer house both of us, and I’m, in a sense, allergic to the baby, and that is causing toxins to be spilled into my blood, making everything fail.

Kenny, my Mommy, and myself get to the hospital that night, get our room, and I get hooked up to drugs to start my labor. Without much effort, my labor kicks in, and before long I’m having super strong contractions. Started pushing at about 2pm. After about 2 hours of pushing, it became very clear that there was something wrong. At this point I couldn’t even talk because of the amount of pain I was in. They wheeled me in for an emergency C-Section.

Once they got the spinal block in, my pain was erased for about 2 minutes. Starting at my toes and working up slowly, I went totally numb, which was great until the meds reached my lungs. After about 2 minutes, all I can do is take the tiniest quickest gasps. Once the med doc finally notices this, and checks my arms to find out that the spinal block traveled too far up, he puts an oxygen mask on me. I couldn’t talk, and barely breath. I couldn’t understand the voices around me, I could feel Kenny rubbing my face, but I couldn’t find him. I legit thought I was dying. I heard a tiny squeak of a cry, then nothing. I couldn’t see her, I no longer heard her, and I couldn’t tell what the voices around me were saying. They had to wisk her away to the NICU.

Coming out of the spinal block I just wanted my baby. I knew there was something wrong, but didn’t know what. I wasn’t able to meet her until about 11pm. Then I wasn’t able to hold her until the next day… That brings us to Thursday…,

She is still in the Nursery, but she MIGHT be able to finally come to my room today. And if I’m super lucky, she MIGHT be able to leave with me on Saturday… With all of the extra drama, me and Kenny decided its best to wait for her to be back to 100% before she starts meeting everyone we love.

So, Wednesday Elizabeth Lane, born via emergency c-section, January 5th, at 5:44pm, 7lbs, 4oz, 18 inches long. She is getting better everyday, and is absolutely the most beautiful baby ever.

76320 Minutes

53 days. That’s all that is left between me and motherhood. Give or take of course. I’m feeling extremely torn. On one hand, I am BEYOND ready to have this pregnancy be over, to have my body be mine again.. On the other hand, I have to realize that by wishing my pregnancy over, means I’m wishing for her to get here faster… which means, I’m a mom.

I don’t know for sure, but I’ve got a pretty good guess that becoming a parent is probably the biggest thing that can happen to a person in life. Nothing will be the same. I will officially no longer be my own top priority. There will always be someone on this earth that I will love more than myself, and who’s needs will always come first. There is going to be a living, breathing, real live person that I built from scratch. She will have her own body, mind, personality. She will be totally one of a kind, and she will be mine.

I’m ready for this pregnancy to be over. Am I ready for everything else that comes along with that? I guess I have to be. :)

BUMP in the night

This past Saturday night, I was almost asleep in a very comfy hotel bed, when I was attacked. I guess it was more of an accidental assault really. There I was, minding my own business, snoozing comfortably on my back, with my hand resting on my tummy, when BOOM! My lil alien kicks my hand right the hell off my tummy. Scared the ever-loving crap out of me. I flew out of bed, and screamed at the top of my lungs.

Of course I knew this was coming. Babies are alive, and they move, and sooner or later I was going to KNOW she was moving. But JEEZE! She didn’t bother getting me warmed up to the kicks she will be providing me with for the next 3-4 months, she went right for the “wake the hell up Mommy” kicks! My knee-jerk reaction was sorta like when you have a bee fly down your shirt, and the whole “AHHHH! Get it off! Get it off!” I don’t care what other people say, being waken up by your own belly kicking you is bazaar!

Once I got my heart rate under control, I got back in bed and just stared dumb-founded at my belly. She continued her little dance for about an hour, and I could watch her kicks and rolls moving all around my belly. Watching her, it became less and less “creepy horror movie with aliens in belly” and more and more “oh my god, that’s my baby.”

Because of the obstacles being thrown at me the past few months, I haven’t been enjoying my pregnancy. I’ve been missing out on the excitement of it all. I have been trying SO hard to get into it, but it just wasn’t working… Now I feel her dance at least once a day, and it is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. At most this only happens for an hour a day, but I feel like this is a step in the right direction. Thank you baby Wednesday.